I used to think of myself as some would say, a "ladies man". Unfortunately I am in no way, shape or form, emphasis on "form", that which I once was. I use to be courageous, daring, bold, tender, caring, kisser of good, better yet, great kisses... ha. I had long flowing locks, a chiseled abdomen, and my gluteus maximus was to die for. I was even a stunt double for a few of those, "I can't believe it's not butter" commercials.
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The never ending supply of immitation butter got the best of me and my world soon came crashing down. Welcome to the present, fun loving, slightly chubby, new and not so improved version of me. Even during those aforementioned courageous non-existent years, I never knew when exactly I should try for the evasive "hand hold", the semi awkward "should I hug or handshake" moment, or the all-too terrifying "first kiss".
Having been home from my mission now for nearly a year and a half I've become more and more aware that I don't really have much of a spine. That is what I consider to be one of my greatest faults, along with that of many other males my age. We wait so long sometimes for that perfect moment, that it passes from our very hands. My question today is, how long is too long? When should we go for the hand? When should we try for the goodnight kiss? Are girls turned off by a guy who takes too long to make a move, or does it just make that first time even more memorable when it does happen? Should the girl take things into her own hands if the guy is scared out of his mind and shaking in his shoes? For all of us spineless fools in the world, ladies, please give us some sort of guidance, a timetable maybe! Oh, if only it were that easy...
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The never ending supply of immitation butter got the best of me and my world soon came crashing down. Welcome to the present, fun loving, slightly chubby, new and not so improved version of me. Even during those aforementioned courageous non-existent years, I never knew when exactly I should try for the evasive "hand hold", the semi awkward "should I hug or handshake" moment, or the all-too terrifying "first kiss".
Having been home from my mission now for nearly a year and a half I've become more and more aware that I don't really have much of a spine. That is what I consider to be one of my greatest faults, along with that of many other males my age. We wait so long sometimes for that perfect moment, that it passes from our very hands. My question today is, how long is too long? When should we go for the hand? When should we try for the goodnight kiss? Are girls turned off by a guy who takes too long to make a move, or does it just make that first time even more memorable when it does happen? Should the girl take things into her own hands if the guy is scared out of his mind and shaking in his shoes? For all of us spineless fools in the world, ladies, please give us some sort of guidance, a timetable maybe! Oh, if only it were that easy...
3 comments:
Gay. I just wanted to make sure that was my first comment. Ha, you should have seen that coming! And I'm so sure you know who I am, I'm not even going to say who this is. Such is my confidence in you. Now if only I could transfuse it INTO you. Now that, my friend, would be gay. Now, seriously Bizzle Tizzle (I can only assume that's what "BT" stands for) when's the last time you met anyone who did the stuff they actually say? I'm not just talking about women, I'm also talking about men, all the folks in between, and even those parrots out there who have mastered our speech?
Exactly. Though we sometimes know what we're talking about, and actually do what we say, I have come to find that it's usually better for peoples' words and actions not to meet. They simply don't get along.
And how can you discern when a girl is telling you what she thinks you should do for OTHER girls, and what she actually wants for herself? Come on, you have a sister, a mom, your millions of girlfriends from your Parkay days. When have they communicated with you on a consistently clear, logical, and easy manner?
OK, now that we've established that we (I say we, you see) cannot possibly comprehend the full extent of what others are thinking/saying, I think that we might be getting a glimmer of how important it is that WE have fun on the date. WE have control over OUR actions/reactions in the dating, and real, world. If the girl wasn't feeling your flow, that's her problem. The only thing you should be worrying about is if YOU'RE having a good time. If not, then I'm thinking it's time you started doing something you like. Of course, that's up to you. Do you want someone who really likes you for being you? Or would you like to learn all the tricks and trappings that are necessary to nab the most beautiful woman who flits through the corridors of BYUI? Because you can do either, but the first is less work, and the girl genuinely likes you!
Whichever path you take, good luck. But I wouldn't worry about it so much, most of those people out there have overblown there egos enough by themselves, it's just hard work on your part to keep up their self esteem. Oh, and I like your blog page, with the little grapes and leaves. Though let's be honest, despite all the girl talk, it's really about just posting pictures of hot guys and butter, right?
Hey man its michael. I would have to say when you find someone that is
1. Easy to get along with
2. Attractive (doesnt have to be the knockout, but youre attracted to her. You will be more so because you get along so well)
3. Spiritual mature side.
....If there is a girl you get along with and you like her, naturally you will flirt, yes? You should be able to tell without words whether or not she likes you too. If thats the case take her on a date!! I guess if those qualifications are met and youre getting the push in your head to hold a hand, then do it. Jump the cliff!! But everything needs to be looked at in perspective. First dates arent always the best for things. Assess the situations in your head and you need to make a decision then. Say, no Im not gonna hold her hand tonight its the first date. And stick with that and you wont have it racking you mind the whole time. Next date if you think you were both feeling it, then sure. Whats the worst that could happen? especially if youve been getting the vibes back.
In the end, obviously a little spine is needed, but honestly thats life. If we really like a girl I say we put some courage in to it. I think it all comes down to situation assessment though, if youre feeling the vibes and the girl is worth it, then jump the cliff
So again I'm going to post... and I'll give the discliamer that I MAY not be like other girls... but take me advice for whatever it's worth! I was actually having this EXACT conversation with a young man last night. Honestly, sometimes I would really like a guy to take a step back and NOT try to kiss me on the first date. That would be super nice. Heck... I'd like him to not even hold my hand on the first date. Don't get my wrong... I LOVE the physical affection, but it makes everything SO dang confusing.
So here's what I have to say... OPEN COMMUNICATION. Let me say it again... O P E N C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! ! ! Ok... so here's what that means... say a guy takes me on a date... and we're both having a good time. I would love to have him have th guts to ASK to hold me hand if he really wants to. And honestly... just because I say no (which I may not) doesn't mean that I don't like him or that I'm not interested in him... it just means that I'm not sure. And as a girl it would be smart for me to say that too. How hard it is to say "you know what, I'm just not sure exactly how I feel about you yet. How about we continue to get to know each other and see if we can take this anywhere!" (so there's a note for the girls... DON'T be scared to tell a guy that your'e just not ready... I know holding hands itsn't the end of the world... but keep is simple!)
Ok... so I'm not sure if any of that really made any sense... but my point is... don't be scared to wait till you've gone on a few dates just to hold her hand. I'm not saying I'm perfect and I haven't kissed on a first date... because you know what... I've kissed before a first date. And as you can see none of them worked out becuase I'm still single. The best relationships that I had were the ones that really invested there TIME into it... not their bodies (if you know what I mean).
Ok... moral of the story... I don't think there is a time that is too long to wait... as long as you communication with each other. As long as the girl knows what the boy is thinking... and the boy knows what the girls is thinking! ASK QUESTIONS... GIVE ANSWERS!!!! Don't be afraid to talk to someone face to face (remember the texting post?!) Ok... so boys... get out there and ask the girl face to face... and really invest your TIME into the relationship. And girls... give the boy a break ok... just because he doesn't hold your hand the first night doesn't mean he doesn't like you... it means he probalby respects you a little more than the last boy you went out with who tried to kiss you when you just met him like 2 hours earlier!
DATE!!! HAVE FUN! :)
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