Your Trial Period Expires

Try it before you buy it right!? My question though, is when does your trial period expire? As a preface, I should probably explain that I tend to be painstakingly blunt and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble. I'll admit, I've had conversations as bad as this:
Joe: "Hey, so I was thinking I'd like to take you out sometime, can I get your number?"
Me: "You know, Joe, thanks but I should probably just tell you straight up, I'm not really interested in going out with you."
Gasp! (Right?) That was evidence of something I like to call an honesty-filter malfunction and basic lack of common courtesy. Hey, I'm working on it. Truly. I used think the best course of action was brutal honesty. In my mind, rejecting someone from the get-go was doing him a kindness by saving him time, energy and money. But you live and you learn. I've come to realize that generally a guy would rather be given a chance (even if it's a waste in my eyes) than be rejected initially and suffer a hit to his self-esteem.

Thus, Conclusion # 1: There are unwritten rules of socially acceptable conduct within this culture that we must obey! Girls, we do have an obligation (with a few exceptions) to give a guy a chance; at least ONE date.

But after that first date, then what does the guy expect? Does he want me to give him a second chance if I'm still not interested? Or does he want me to come up with a way to (kindly) tell him how it is?
Most often my problem is that I'm just not sure if I'm interested or not. I need a longer trial period so I can get to know him better. But dragging out the trial period can get you into trouble as well...you'll be accused of "leading him on." My solution: A three-date rule. After date number three I have to ask myself honestly: "Can I see myself getting married to this guy for time and all eternity?" Usually I shudder at the thought and know that it's time to let him down... gently.  

Conclusion number 2: Girls can know by the third date (IF NOT SOONER) if continuing to date would be a complete waste of time. 


When a girl consents to go on date #4 she is sending a message. She's saying "I'm really hoping that this relationship goes somewhere." If that's NOT what she's trying to say... then she's either leading you on or is thoroughly confused.
So girls, find that happy balance between being honest and being kind. Obey the unwritten rules of conduct. Boys, allow girls a little time to get to know you and (just a suggestion) make those first three dates cheap ones! Don't get your hopes up until the trial period ends.