Legal Stalking

We've all done it, so don't try and act innocent. Some friends and yourself got together this past weekend and you noticed a little somebody special you hadn't seen amongst your typical group of friends before. He was tall, dark, and handsome, witty, yet sincere. He had a body chiseled from stone and eyes as deep and blue as the sea. You had a great little chat around the bonfire, but you never got around to asking for the personal info. Seeing as how he was a friend of friend of a friend, the odds you'll ever see him again are slim to none. What do you do?

Stalk them of course! Facebook it up. Test out those private P.I. skills of yours and hunt em' down. Everyone is on Facebook or Myspace nowadays. It's very rare that I meet someone who hasn't fallen into the crowd like the rest of us sheep and had their whole lives strung across the internet for all to see.

One thing must be understood though, there is a process to such madness.

Rule:

1) You must pretend like you don't want it. Wait a day or two, see if they'll add you first.

2) Once you finally cave in and send your friend request, don't send a message! You don't want to seem too eager now do you?

3) Check their relationship status and quantity of friends. It could be they are way out of your league. Anybody with over 1,000 friends is far too cool for you anyways.

4) Look at every one of their pictures dating all the way back to middle school. Sort them with a fine toothed comb. Be as creepy as possible, they'll never know!

5) Still no word? Throw caution to the wind and light his entire page up! Add like/dislike comment, secret messages, mob war invitations, help commemorate the king of pop sensation causes, photo comments, Facebook chat, pokes, and anything of the sort... Trust me, they'll be all yours in no time. Who could resist such poise and elegance?

Ahem... So in case it wasn't blatantly obvious, I think this whole Facebook thing has gone too far. It's weird! I hate that I'm so addicted to it! I often wonder, what's wrong with myself? Is this not creepy? How do all of you out in the virtual world feel about it? Are you ladies okay with it? Would you prefer a good ol' fashioned phone call, or do you prefer the casuality of the wall post? What does the future hold?

I hate to say it but i'm torn! I just get so excited everytime I see that little red notification bubble or the coveted "new friend request"! But it right along with so many other forms of technology of our day seems like such a cop out or substitution for a real relationsip. When will we learn the error in our ways? Somehow I'm assuming later than sooner, so until then log on, hang out, and see who it is thats lurking behind that hyperlink. Go on ahead, take a look, it could be who you've been waiting for all along!

Here's a little background info on the origins of Facebook, check it out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/

Patience is a virtue

We all knew that when we ventured off on the long road to college, especially here at BYU-Idaho, a day would eventually come that we would find our "soul mate" and ride off into the sunset with them for time and all eternity. That's what we've waited for since we walked off of our planes from missions and stages from graduation. Eternal matrimony is our next step.

Marriage is inevitable, well, for most of us. I'm sure there's a large number of "World of Warcrafting momma's boys" who won't ever see the light of day outside of their parent's basement in order to even fathom such a thing. For the rest of us in the real world we'll meet that special someone, become one with them over time, understand who they really are, and eventually be married.

Well, that's if you're normal. Then you have those who apparently are the majority this semester. It's a growing epidemic I've seen come amongst my own ward and speckled here and there about campus as well. The thought: "Well, we've been dating for 5 weeks now and I'm... either a) about to graduate, b) undesirous to pay next semesters rent, or c) ecstatic that you haven't dumped me yet, so, will you marry me"? As of yet from what I've seen the response amongst couples has been a resounding "YES"!

My first response when I hear of said engagements is, "Are you Crazy??" Do you realize that you have to spend the rest of your lives with that person? Do you realize that person will help raise your future children? Do you realize this person may have some deep dark secret that you would have known about if you had taken the time to really get to know them for longer than a month before you got married?

Maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe I'm just cold and bitter that I haven't found my own "special someone," yet. I'm sure all of you will go on and live wonderfully happy lives. There are many who have come before you who have done just that and look at them now. Please, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for everyone who has decided to venture into the dreary world of matrimony, but for me, the thought of doing so blindfolded is nothing less than obsurd. Try to avoid the thought process evoked by the evil snickers bar company, "Marriage, why wait"? This really is an important decision. Make the right one now, otherwise you'll have the rest of eternity to think about the consequences of impatience.

Article on marriage statistics:
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/eye-opening-marriage-statistics-637273.html

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm

Do looks matter?

My Dearest semi non-existant fan base,

How sorry I am that I haven't been able to post anything in the past week or so. I'm sure you are all just chomping at the bit to read my latest and greatest post, but as some of you may know, I had myself a little bit of an accident a week ago today. Riding my bike home late from the library one night I had to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting some passersby which sent me and mainly my face catapulting into the cold hard concrete. For those of you who like the gory details, I was down two and a half teeth and up about 6 stitches in my upper lip. Not to mention the pint or two of blood I'm sure I left there on the campus sidewalk.

Needless to say my pretty little money maker is no longer as pretty as it once was. My lip was roughly about the size of an adolescent grapefruit and as one classmate stated, all the scabs on my face looked something like old dried up egg yolk... Um, thank you Jeff. As you can imagine it was a difficult week for me. I didn't even want to leave the security of my quiet secluded bedroom even so much as to go take a pee. Thank you to so many of you who showed your love and care by bringing all sorts of blended/liquid foods, milkshakes, smoothies, chicken noodle soup, flowers, and moral support. It helped me feel not so ugly even when I knew that my face was one that which not even a mother could love.

Which brings me to the object of my post today. How important to you are looks in the opposite sex? Now, don't give me the old, "Oh I don't care what they look like, just as long as they love me for me" routine! I know everyone in the world needs somebody whom they are at least semi-attracted to. Does it matter if they're short or tall, chubby or skinny, or blond or brunette? What about eyes, teeth, hands, feet, even clothing??? What is the first thing you notice in an attractive guy or girl?

Or maybe I'm wrong, maybe there are many of you out there who really could care less about what a person looks like. Maybe, you could love them even if it looks like their face is a combination of citrus and poultry breakfast foods. If so, let me know your opinions! Log on and paint us a picture of your lovely dream weaver.

Dateline did a pretty interesting undercover story on looks, take a peek:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3917414

Dating Daddy's Daughter

Here's something funny I found on the internet. I've seen a few of these dads in my day. Hilarious.

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.


Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.


Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of the date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.


Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without using a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.


Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."


Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with one of my little girls, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. You might have heard about her other two sisters, but you will not look. If you make her cry, I make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?


Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are sofas, beds, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and my old Army Field Jacket - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature power tools are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.


Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a middle-aged, gray-headed, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a half acre behind the house. Do not trifle with me.


Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to drift back a few years to my Army days and mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a hostile vehicle. Whenever I hear engines at night, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the weapons, probably as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Announce the perimeter password, relay in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

http://www.yoest.org/dating_my_daughters.html

Friends or "Friends"?

Many relationships start and end great, some not so much. Some start shaky and some end terribly. Now, if you think about it, every relationship you've had up until now hasn't worked out, I repeat, has not worked out! Every relationship that you will have won't work out either! Feeling good about yourself so far?? Now Donald, don't say such hurtful things! But it's true... None of them will work out until you find the right one. Now unfortunately ladies, there's only so much of me to go around, so there will have to be some sort of disappointment amongst yourselves, sorry... ha, please excuse my delirious fantasies. Anyways, until we find that "one" we must sift and sort through oh so many not so close seconds. My question today is, where and in whom should we look for? Do you prefer the next Joe or Jane that shows some affection your direction or do you want somebody more, somebody as in a best friend?

I'm not sure about the rest of the world, but I've had and currently do have friends that I've often wondered, "what would it be like if there were something more between the two of us? We get along so great and I can tell you anything, far better than anyone I've ever gone on a date with." But It often seems almost as if it were taboo to date your friends, just because you don't want the relationship to get in the way of the "friendship"... Or maybe that's just the standard try not to hurt Donald's feelings response. Hmm, probably so I suppose, but to me the answer seems clear.

When I look back on past relationships, I guess I don't really talk to ex-girlfriends that I was friends with initially. Yet at the same time, I don't speak with the girls I wasn't friends with either, so what's the difference? That includes relationships that ended great and those that ended nothing short of a world war! We're all going to go off and get married eventually and face it, we'll all stop talking to our old best friends of the same-sex. If not, we'll probably have some rather jealous/bitter spouses and will probably be seeking a little marriage counseling.

So, I guess my point is why not?? I think the pros far outweigh the cons. So you may lose a friend or two, but think of what you might gain. Yeah, it always stinks when old friendships just aren't quite what they used to be, but as the two great poets William Shakespeare and Jason Mraz once said, "It's better to have been so lucky to have loved and lost a best friend than it is to have not loved at all." Haha, or at least something along those lines. Friends everywhere, If you've ever wondered "what if", here's my invitation to you, think a little less about losing a good friend and a little more about what it would be like to love a best friend.