Don't look know, ladies... But at this very moment you're being watched. Lurking through the tall grass of the frozen Rexburg tundra, lies the not-so discreet, marriage seeking, hair-parted, ex-name tag wearing, returned missionary... Dun... dun... dun. Yes, as you're reading this wonderfully delectable post, by me, the wise and all-knowing Donald, you have a certain young man, watching, waiting for you to step outside of your front door. Whether you're wearing your "princess" on the bum pajamas and bunny slippers, or you have your Gucci bag on with your hair "did", you're not safe. His eye is on you and you won't be able to remove it until he's tied a knot in your heart strings and has dragged you all over campus by them.
Beware you young ladies, especially. All of you unsupecting 18 and 19 year old girls who come to school looking for "your" RM... you know, the one you've been singing about in primary since you were 5? You may not have met him yet, but he knows who you are and he already has the names picked out for your first eleven children. When he does decide to "pounce", you'll be so love stricken you won't know what to do with yourselves besides swoon and fall ever so gracefully into his ever so strong arms. They know that you are vulnerable and don't have experience with their sly and cunning ways. So, I beg of you, be cautious.
They have one purpose and one purpose only. To end your single life as you know it. They have been charged by mission presidents all over the world and have accepted their call to multiply and replenish the earth. They have their targets and you are their victims. So I say to you, understand their intentions.
Now... on the other hand of reason. I am a returned missionary and I do want to get married. I will multiply and replenish the earth, hopefully, if someone will have me : ) But in all honesty marriage still scares me. It's a huge step to take, yet I think a marvelous one. However, just because I spent 2 years of my life dedicated to the Lord, and you aren't ready for marriage doesn't mean you should avoid me nor those like me like the black plague either. I feel bad when I talk to girls and they say that they don't want to date "so and so returned missionary" mainly because they have gone on a mission and said young lady is afraid he'll want to get married. If you ask me, that's a little messed up. But I suppose that's up to you.
In conclusion, "RM's", be tender with these young souls. They are delicate, wonderful, daughters of God and should be treated as such. Ladies, understand that when a returned missionary asks you on a date be careful and don't fall head over heels in love too fast. Those experienced "hunters" have a tendency to break young little hearts like yours. But along with that suggestion, just because you're young, ladies, and you feel like you have your entire life to live before you'd like to settle down, does not mean you should not date one. They are good guys, for the must part. So before you say "No" just keep in mind what you might be passing up. Me! Haha. Also, I promise we don't want to marry you... Well, not quite yet anyways...
